A Heart Condition

“Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease from prayer” -John Bunyan

Words that every God follower must find true in their own heart, Bunyan addresses something that I fear may be a struggle for quite some time in this life I am living. We attempt to assign to this life a cyclical nature; going back and forth through sin and holiness, guilt and forgiveness, or prayer and sin. Yet I struggle to find biblical support for living in this circle of sin and holiness. I find my fickle faith to be stuck in this cycle, however, and with such a cycle comes the uttermost failure and complete guilt. I'm reminded of Paul's writing in Romans, chapters 7 and 8 specifically, as he contrasts the sinful nature versus those with the Spirit. As he comes out of this section, Paul focuses on redemption of all things (man, the earth, etc.). He describes a groaning of the earth as it cries out to God for redemption, and he goes on to say this:

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

At this time in my life I am coming out of a week full of slothfulness, idleness, spitefulness, anger, waste, and forgetfulness. Things I have said time and again will not happen and have prayed time and again to be taken from me; I find myself again in that place of "what do I have to do?" Perhaps my ignorance of true submission is enough to keep me continually grasping for mercy; I hope so, but perhaps not again grasping as I come out of a destructive path. Prayer is not a simple idea, but it's requirements seem so simple in relation to what one must actually "do." As you battle this life and fight through the struggles your old nature attempts to revive within you, pray.

Prayer is not a matter of finding the right words; it is the matter of understanding who holds all words. Your heart is not hidden before God, therefore, what can you say that will make things more real to God? This is not to say that prayer is not necessary, on the contrary, prayer is the moment we acknowledge God as sovereign and bring our heart poured out before Him. There are days of full thankfulness when our hearts are overjoyed with an understanding of God's greatness. However, days come when our souls are downcast and our hearts have been scarred by the pain of this life; perhaps our minds have been tricked into thinking that the world has come crashing in upon us. Prayer is that time of recognition that God is God and we are not. We have been blessed by Him or we have fallen prey to forgetting His greatness; either way there is an opportunity to truly glorify our God for who He is and who we do not have to be.

"Lord I dare not pass this moment without acknowledging your greatness. Your wholeness and completeness without me, but in this I confess I am incomplete and desire again your mercy of blessing in wisdom to grasp who Jesus Christ is and what He has faithfully done. Thank you Lord for the privilege of prayer, thank you for the grace to exist before you openly, without fear of what may be hidden or disguised from your eyes. Search me Lord, and in so doing find in me the things that are unclean and a part of the natural, sinful man that I Christ removed and the Spirit continues to rid me of. Holiness is something I am so far from understanding, but by your grace I discover what I have yet to learn and am eager to be pushed towards that perfection which seems so unattainable. Father, forgive your Son who tarnishes your gifts, lead me in the path of correction as you block my straying into traps of despair. Continue to grace me in Christ and accept my heart by the sacrifice He has made."